Up until a year or so ago, I did what most human beings do—I personalized everything in life. If someone was nice to me I would take it personal. If someone would not let me in while driving in traffic I would take it personal. If someone whom I loved said something hurtful or did something hurtful I would take it personal. As I began taking a step back in my life I began noticing that in the majority of all of these situations I have very little to do with the reactions and actions of those around me especially if I don’t know the person at all.
For instance the other day my wife Sara got upset with me and said something’s that she did not mean. I reacted to her, yet not nearly as much as I would have one year ago. After reacting a bit I engaged the present moment, watched my thoughts, and emotions, I calmed down pretty quickly. Within the calm was a deeper understanding of Sara’s reaction. Her Mom just started chemo again and is living with bone cancer. It is very painful for Sara to see her mom suffer and there were other things also going on that had Sara upset. Her reactions to me truly had nothing to do with me—I was just the receiver of her angry and sadness.
The next time you experience an emotional charge or reaction, pause, engage conscious breathing—stepping into the present moment. Watch the emotions and thoughts as a third party observer and watch them fade. After fading remain in the non-judgmental awareness and watch insight arise as to what you just experienced. I find most of the time it is not personal. A necessary practice in Being Empowered.
For instance the other day my wife Sara got upset with me and said something’s that she did not mean. I reacted to her, yet not nearly as much as I would have one year ago. After reacting a bit I engaged the present moment, watched my thoughts, and emotions, I calmed down pretty quickly. Within the calm was a deeper understanding of Sara’s reaction. Her Mom just started chemo again and is living with bone cancer. It is very painful for Sara to see her mom suffer and there were other things also going on that had Sara upset. Her reactions to me truly had nothing to do with me—I was just the receiver of her angry and sadness.
The next time you experience an emotional charge or reaction, pause, engage conscious breathing—stepping into the present moment. Watch the emotions and thoughts as a third party observer and watch them fade. After fading remain in the non-judgmental awareness and watch insight arise as to what you just experienced. I find most of the time it is not personal. A necessary practice in Being Empowered.
1 comment:
Excellent advice, particularly, as I have discovered, when dealing with teen-agers, who are an amazingly reactive group of people. It is so easy to get drawn into their drama!
I ran across a quotation by Walt Whitman which i believe summarizes your post rather eloquently:
Re-examine all that you have been told... dismiss that which insults your soul.
Walt Whitman
Namaste – Jacqueline
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