Flexible Beliefs

I spend a fair amount of time in the car driving and I listen to podcasts as I drive. Studying evolutionary science is a hobby of mine. I have recently been listening to a podcast titled Evolution 101. Although the lecturer, Dr. Zack, sometimes goes over my head, I enjoy learning about science and how organisms change.

Have you ever seen the fish symbol on the back of a car? What about the fish with feet symbol on a car? The fish symbolizes Christian beliefs. The fish with feet symbolizes belief in evolution in the conventional sense. Conventional – meaning that humans have evolved from micro-organisms in the water, to fish, to land animals, and eventually to what we are today through a process that took millions of years. Both of these symbols indicate a belief.

No matter what your belief is, you believe strongly enough to post a symbol to the back of your car so everyone can see what you believe. I am not talking specifically about evolution as much as having beliefs. I am fascinated to listen to someone speak when they feel so strongly about something they believe in. They seem educated, concerned, and passionate. When you oppose them, they typically become defensive and have some preplanned rebuttal. It is as if they were expecting you to question what they believe. At first, I am attracted by the passion, but ultimately, the inflexible mind bores me. They are unable to listen to your point of view because it goes against what they believe and threatens what they think. 

When I look back at my youth, I realize I had some strong beliefs. As I have aged and matured, I have educated myself and realized day in and day out that I just don’t know. Not knowing is what keeps me open and fresh in the moment. Evolution, something that I read and study seems to make perfect sense, but I realize that there is so much more that I don’t know. To establish this firm and rigid belief around evolution in the conventional sense would be unintelligent. So when I study a subject like evolution, I am very careful not to become rigid around one way of thinking.

Ok, I can hear you now—“Great! You’re someone who doesn’t believe anything and is wish-washy?” Everyday I try to approach my life with an open way of thinking. An approach that is continually predicated by educating myself while remaining completely open to having my beliefs pulled out from underneath me. This way I allow my beliefs to be flexible—evolving as I evolve.

Iron Man

On Saturday I took my son Jimmy to see the new superhero movie, Iron Man. Before going, I was really unsure about the movie, but in the end was pleasantly surprised. I don’t want to ruin the movie for you, but I’ll share the basic plot. Iron Man is played by Robert Downey Jr. He is a billionaire industrialist who is the world’s largest supplier of weapons. He is very egotistical and not very conscious of the destruction and evil his business brings to the world. He is captured by a group using his weapons for tyranny and mass murder. During his capture, he has an awakening. He begins realizing the pain he is bringing to the world. Like all superhero movies, the plot is pretty predictable and in the end, he escapes and saves the day.

Maya is a word in yoga philosophy which perpetuates illusion and duality in the universe. Maya means you are not seeing the big picture and indicates ignorance. In essence, you are suffocated by your own ego and fail to see that your thoughts, words, and actions affect everyone around you and from a quantum prospective, the entire universe. Duality means two—it is living in the mentality that there is me and then there is the rest of the world. Maya is often referred to as “the veil” and is symbolic for separation and not seeing the other side. For many of us, it may be very challenging to fathom this reality. For Iron Man the veil of illusion is lifted abruptly as his contribution to destruction, pain, and death becomes glaringly apparent. Once the veil is lifted, he comes to the realization that he has to change and do something to counter his previous contribution.

Most of us are not fortunate enough to have a powerful awakening experience like Iron Man. That’s right – I said fortunate – because if we could just see how responsible we are for the state of the world it would radically change our thoughts, actions, and words on a daily basis. We would realize change in our world truly begins with ourselves. I contemplate this often within my own life. I always stress in classes and in conversations about the importance of becoming aware of your contribution within your domestic relationships. For me, there has never been a more polished mirror then my wife Sara. 

Can you help me with this? Can you change a diaper? Can you come home early? Can you watch the kids? Can you pick this up on your way home? Can you skip what you want to do to do this with our family? In these situations, Sara is continually asking me to put my needs in the back seat. She’s not nagging me. She’s reminding me of the responsibilities I have to my family right now. I hear the voice in my head to resist and I have gotten pretty good at not reacting to it. I realize that the primary reason for my existence now is to raise three conscious children. If I can do that, I have done my work in this life.

Keeping the veil of Maya lifted takes a serious commitment. It is a moment by moment practice. It is being aware of your thoughts and pausing before you speak and act. Being Empowered is realizing this truth and committing to the practice.

Passion

Saturday morning I did what I normally do. I was awakened by my daughter Leia. I changed her diaper and then went downstairs where Sara was changing Liam’s diaper. I made the coffee and then turned on the morning show only to find that Tim Russert had suddenly died. It was a blow to me, as well as to thousands of others. I really loved to watch “Meet the Press”. There was something so special about Tim and his passion for his family, his career, and for life in general. I was really drawn to him because he exuded that passion and I love surrounding myself with passionate people. Just the other day Jimmy (8 year old son) asked me what passion meant. 

Johnny: It is something that you feel strongly about. Jimmy what am I passionate about? (I held my breath for a moment realizing I am about to hear what he observes me getting excited about.) 

Jimmy: Spending time with your family. 

Johnny: OK Jimmy, you are right. What else am I passionate about? 

Jimmy: Helping people get healthy and feel good. 

Johnny: Jimmy what are you passionate about?

Jimmy: I am passionate about lacrosse. I like to practice lacrosse.

Johnny: Why do you think practice is important? 

Jimmy: Practice makes you better and if I don’t practice I might lose my passion. 

All of this from an eight year old!

Tim Russert aligned himself with something he enjoyed and practiced it over and over again, making a career and an exuberant life out of it. What puts a smile on your face? What pumps your blood? Are you aligning your life with your passion? Life is too short to wish and hope—you have to make things happen. I believe if you take one step towards your passion your passion will take two steps towards you. Today do something that brings you one step closer to something you love and see what happens. I bet you will be surprised! 

Going with or against the flow?

The other day I was talking to a colleague about alignment.  I am not
referring to physical alignment; I am referring to mental alignment.  In
the practice of Hatha Yoga, we place so much attention on being present
and learning to address when you are "out to lunch"-day dreaming.  It is
important to realize that you can never be present all the time.  The
mind wanders and then something brings you back.  If you do not meditate
or you do not practice yoga, you are probably not aware of this, yet it
happens thousands of times throughout the day.  The practice of
meditation or Hatha Yoga helps strengthen your mind to be stable and
steady.  A large majority of our thoughts, actions, and words are
subconscious. The more we spend time in the present moment, the less we
operate from a subconscious place and start living from a conscious
place. This is a place where empowered living takes place.


Many times I hear people say "Just go with the flow!"  What happens when
going with the flow is just a habit that is not really helping me be
happy?  I have been thinking this way and living this way for so long I
will just go with the flow.  It is cool to go with the flow, right?
Well for me, I have really learned to stop and ask myself "Should I go
with the flow?"  Is this causing unhappiness or pain in my life? Maybe I
need to not go with the flow and stop and go the other way. This can
take a lot of courage, particularly when you have the momentum of your
mind and emotions telling you to just go with it and do what you have
always done; to just be in the flow.


This is where meditation, Hatha Yoga or any concentration or
conscious-deepening practice comes into play.  It allows you to begin to
understand the flowing nature of reality.  Things are always changing
and our minds are always changing.  Thoughts come in and then they
leave.  Some thoughts come repeatedly throughout the day and others just
show up occasionally.  Conscious-deepening practice allows us to develop
emotional and mental intelligence so we can begin to know when to go
with the flow and when to stop and go the other direction.  Without the
ability to pause and be conscious of the present moment, we just wind up
thinking, speaking, and acting the way we always did.  The present
becomes the past replayed and the future is nothing more than the same.

Being empowered is seeing the truth of this and learning to pause and
bring skillful action into going with the flow or against it. 

Inspired

This past Friday, May 30th, Brad Bolding and Josh Stively, two personal trainers from our Plexus at Nemours location, ran around the Brandywine and Nemours buildings in downtown Wilmington as a fundraiser for the American Heart Association. They ran for a combined 8 hours, covering 56 miles, and raised close to $5,000. We had a race clock out front on the sidewalk, courtesy of Wayne Kursh from Races2Run. The University of Delaware Football Coach KC Keeler gave the official start of the run. A handful of Plexus employees were on the streets throughout the day talking to pedestrians about the event and raising awareness for heart disease.

Do you know that heart disease is the number one killer in the US? Over 800,000 people die annually from heart disease and the majority of deaths are linked to lifestyle choices. Brad and Josh wanted to do something radical to get people's attention so they came up with this idea. They wore Plexus green arms bands, head bands and socks that went up to their knees. Initially they got people's attention with their clothing – by the end of the day it was their spirits that had us paying attention!

Coach Keeler mentioned that these 2 men are more built like football players – neither of these guys are distance runners – what were they thinking? Brad and Josh began the day with injuries that I thought would prevent them from finishing. This added to the extreme message these guys were trying to send. I didn't give much thought to the event beyond the required planning prior to May 30th. I wasn’t really emotionally invested in what they were doing. This all changed during the second half of the day.

The day was a relay. Brad ran for the first two hours and then Josh ran the third and fourth hours. Josh hobbled across the line with a nagging hamstring injury. Brad ran the fifth and sixth hours and Josh the seventh and eighth. I never moved from the sidewalk for the second half of the day. I stood there, watching the clock count down towards eight hours, initially wondering whether these guys could actually do it. My doubt was quickly dissipated as I watched their faces. The volume of my cheers lessened and my emotions began to deepen. My inspiration from these two men grew lap by lap, as I saw their faces, full of focus and determination. 

The word inspired comes from the Latin root, spiritus which means spirit. I was inspired because I knew that with each step Brad and Josh took, a voice in their head would say, "Stop! You’ve done enough! The pain is too much! It is too hot! My hamstrings hurt!” This is the voice of ego – the voice of fear and doubt and the voice that holds all of us back in all that we do in life. Every time we listen and invest our attention into this negative voice, our spirits grow dim and we shrink back. We stop saying YES to life.

As Josh crossed the line, the clock read exactly 8:00 hours. I was so proud of these two men for the valiant display of what the human spirit is possible of accomplishing. They made a loud statement to all of those who saw them that day. Heart disease – in fact the majority of disease – is largely preventable if we would just learn to work with our own minds and recognize what lies within each and every one of us.

Driving to School (part 2)

The next day Jimmy and I got into the car and Jimmy asked if we could listen to another podcast. I was very happy to say yes. This particular podcast dealt with integrating practice into the work place. The teacher was using some words that Jimmy was unfamiliar with, so he had questions during the podcast which were very thought provoking  

Jimmy: What does integration mean? 

Johnny: An act of learning something and then applying it into an integral whole. The lecturer, Gil Fronsdal, was talking about taking what you learn from mediation practice and applying it into work. Jimmy, the goal of spiritual practice is to develop yourself so you can help those around you. By becoming your best, you will begin to positively affect everyone within your life. It is a win/win situation and osmosis is action. 

Jimmy: That sounds good—what does Osmosis mean? 

Johnny: Osmosis is—well—(he stumped me on how to describe this one so I used an example). If you throw a shirt into water, the shirt takes on the water so the water and shirt become one. When Gil uses the word osmosis he is referring to you becoming part of something by simply being around it. More recently, Jimmy has made comments about how I am beginning to say things and act like his Mom. I used this example so he would further understand osmosis. Because I am around Mom all the time, I will naturally by process of osmosis, take on her qualities and vice versa. I also told Jimmy that I would become like him because we spend a lot of time together. Jimmy, that is why we must pay attention to the company we keep. If we are around people who are not acting with loving kindness, we will eventually begin acting the same way by process of osmosis. We continued to listen and then the word ethical came up. 

Jimmy: What does ethical mean?

Johnny: I had to think about this—let’s just say it is doing the right thing, not just for you but also those around you. Acting in an ethical manner means that you will act with loving kindness and if you are placed in situation where you cannot act with loving kindness you will remove yourself from the situation instead of potentially hurting someone else. Once removed from the situation, review the situation, bringing understanding to what happened. 

Jimmy: That makes sense. 

My children are my greatest teachers. Jimmy is at an age where he is asking lots of questions. Many times these questions are stopping me in my tracks and requiring that I contemplate words, ideas and thoughts. 

We have teachers all around us if we would simply pay attention. Our teacher is the present moment and what the present moment presents and our reaction to this presentation. We can learn a lot about ourselves if we just stop and listen.