Guru

We all have a tendency to some degree to look outside of ourselves for answers. We think that someone is going to swoop into our lives and save the day—leaving us free from our problems. I remember first meeting David Nichtern, who is a senior Shambhala teacher and also one of my mentors. He said to me, “Johnny, no one is going to save you—you have to do the work yourself”. It was a sobering thought, and in some ways, it was a slap in the face—an invitation to sit up straight, be responsible for my life and begin doing the work.

Guru is a Sanskrit word that means “to bring light to darkness”. Our darkness is our delusion which creates confusion within our lives. Spiritual practice is meant to bring light onto our darkness and lift the veil of confusion. Seeking out a spiritual teacher is very popular in the east and it is becoming more popular in the west. When I asked David what the role of a teacher was, he said it was to hold up a mirror unto the student. His answer reminded me of an expression, “The ball is in your court”. The teacher simply aids the student in seeing themselves in a clearer light by continually helping the student understand their experience. The teacher simply keeps throwing the ball back into our court.

This weekend I had a pretty powerful experience early Saturday morning that fully brought home why the ball has to be in our court. I was reading Big Mind, Big Heart by Dennis Genpo Merzel and I experienced Big Mind. I have had several glimpses of Big Mind before, yet this weekend it was particularly powerful. I dropped into a whole new level of understanding. I cannot write too much about this experience because there are no words that can describe Big Mind. What I can say is that there was a knowing beyond anything I have ever experienced. This knowing was accompanied by a deep sense of peace. I just sat there for a while on Saturday and well, I just sat there.

The only thing that holds us back from experiencing our fullness is ourselves. When we bring our attention fully to this moment and stop striving, stop wanting it to be different, and simply be with our experience, we experience our light--darkness fades and we realize that the ball has always been in our court. If we can simply just see that we are the ones we are looking for. Within us is everything and outside of us is everything. There is only separation within our mind's perception. This is the experience of Big Mind.

It's not just about the Journey

I spent the past weekend in bed with some kind of viral flu--I had a fever of 103, chills and sweats, dry heaving--wah-wah-wah. So you get the point--the toughest part is that I spent the last three months training for the Delaware Relay Marathon. The race was Sunday --needless to say, I could not run. A similar thing happened this past February- I was three practices away from completing the Yoga Challenge. I came down with a sickness and missed completing the challenge.

So the saying goes, "It is all about the journey." I truly believe that the journey, or the process, is a huge part of the equation, yet it's not the full equation. We often use this expression in order to focus on here and now, and to realize that the true prize is in the process. I no longer believe it is all about the journey.

The destination or goal is equally as important as the journey or process. The goal is something in the future. When you think of your goal in the present moment it motivates you and reminds you why you are doing what you are doing here and now. When there is a destination or a goal, there is a purpose that can be felt in the present moment. That purpose lights up your path so your journey becomes more crystal clear. The clarity you obtain by having a goal has the potential to infuse you with passion that can keep you enthusiastic and motivated within each step on the journey.

In the case of the Relay Marathon I immediately recognized when deciding to run that I could not just go out and run 6.5 miles--I had to train for it. I started a program three months ago and followed it closely. Before I started the program, I would go out and run whenever I wanted and run as fast or as long as I felt like on that particular day--some people would say this defines freedom. I thought it did, yet I was wrong. Do whatever you want and you will be free. However, I have discovered that for me, this defines laziness, lack of motivation, and even confusion. When you are not in touch with a purpose, there are very few people that can continue to do something with intensity, passion and consistency.

Knowing each week that I had to run a certain amount of miles with a particular pace held me accountable. There were so many days that the so-called freedom runner would have not run or dogged it. It was the destination--the goal that held me accountable in the present moment. It was discipline that helped me discover true freedom.

I feel great about my commitment. I just wish I could have done the race. I have learned a lot about the importance of having a goal and getting clear on my intentions. The largest lesson I have learned is that the clearer I am with what I want my future to be the more powerful the now can be.

Spinning Wheel

As we think the same thoughts over and over again they become patterns in our lives. Eastern philosophy uses the analogy of a wheel. The wheel spins in a direction and our lives spin in that same direction. Thoughts become words, words become actions, and then actions become our deeds. Deeds turn into character and then character gives birth to destiny. This is something very powerful which all human beings should learn at an early age.

The way we think and act will become a pattern, so act and speak wisely. Learning to cultivate a pause before speaking and acting can be one of the wisest things a human being can do to prevent creating more unnecessary suffering in their lives and the lives of those around them.

Many of these words are adopted from an ancient Buddhist text called the Dharmapada. Dharma means truth or that which upholds our life. Pada means foot. Dharmapada is a collection of the Buddha's teachings which provides guidelines for walking a path of truth. In this journey, you are asked to recognize that which upholds integrity within your life and that which blocks integrity.

For me, this is a moving target--it is a real practice to pause and get in touch with my words and actions and observe that which builds integrity and that which blocks it. Noticing ways of thinking and acting that no longer uphold integrity can be painful when you begin to realize just how long you have been doing something that blocks integrity.

For me, pain sets in after I have reacted and I realize that I said something or did something I did not want to--just out of habit. The habit is the spinning wheel. Our reaction and actions are so heavily imprinted within us. It takes a strong desire to want to change matched with patience to pause and notice that there is a choice. In pausing we begin seeing the power of the spinning wheel. The forward pulling energy of our tendency to react the way we have always done it.

This is where faith steps in. When speaking about faith, Martin Luther King said, "You don't need to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." Notice when you pause. Feel the tendency to react and pay attention to your body. There is a tension you can get in touch with--this is your fear body. Take a breath in and begin consciously breathing. The tension will begin to dissolve with your attention. This is the beginning of learning to work with the spinning wheels within our lives. This is the beginning of changing the direction of the wheels. This is being empowered.