Face to Face

This past weekend, I participated in the Shambhala Level One Sacred Warrior training at our Empowered Yoga Wilmington location. During discussion on Sunday, one participant wanted to know why we were not made aware of the schedule beyond when to arrive and depart. He was directly referring to the amount of time we spent in meditation on Saturday. 

He said it would have been nice to know the schedule so he could have planned and prepared. I could not help but laugh with him because I was watching my mind numerous times as it kept asking “When is this going to be over?” The hilarious part of this all is that sitting in mediation, you are just working on relaxing and doing nothing—sounds easy right? Most of us have no idea how fast our minds are moving until we sit down and do nothing. No music, no TV, no cell phone, nothing. We begin making excuses as to why meditation is not for us. We rationalize how our minds are different than other people’s minds. It is our mind’s way of strategizing right out of what it is most afraid off—stillness. 

Once we sit still and see our speedy minds we come face to face with our lives. It scares the heck out of us. We spend most of our adult life staying busy and strategizing our next move in life. Once we sit still, that perfectly oiled strategizing machine starts to strategize when we are going to get up and start moving again. As you sit longer, the strategizing loses its power and you start to drop in. Having more experience in mediation than he, I was aware of the process we were going through. It is much like a runner who has to break through the wall in order to get to the runners high. There is a build up of pressure within the mind and then finally it lets go. The feeling you are left with at the end of the process is……..well beyond words. Something you have to experience. 

It is at this point that you begin to understand why we are called human beings and not human doings. Now I am no expert or master in meditation yet it is my experience that this process is an integral aspect of human life. Learning to come face to face with your life—what is it that makes us want to stay busy? Are there things we are avoiding—truths that we simply cannot face? Or is it just that our ambitious nature has taken us so far away from being human that we have lost the true essence of happiness which is beyond material possessions and accomplishment? There is a true joy that one can cultivate in learning to be still and realizing that this moment is enough – that we are alive and that this precious life is fleeting day by day. 

When we come face to face with our minds; this is where you can begin to make friends with yourself. Getting in touch with our lives through mediation is truly one of the greatest acts we can do for those around us and the world. Getting in touch with our lives and the direction our lives are moving can help us refocus and become aware of our ability to steer our lives in certain directions that are going to reduce suffering and increase happiness and joy. For me this is truly part of being empowered.

Where is your attention?

Just the other day a friend asked me how I was doing—I replied great! She said, really? I said yes really. I just finished giving two of my children a bath and I have a wonderful wife and a great life. She said what about business? I said business is the most challenging it has ever been, but I don’t think anyone in business is saying things are great. She said doesn’t that bring you down? If I let myself focus on what is wrong in my life I will not be so great—I am careful as to where I focus my attention.

In the practice of Hatha Yoga you are cultivating the ability to be still and pay attention to your internal environment. When you cultivate concentration and the ability to be still for prolonged periods of time, something really special happens—you begin seeing the fluxing nature of reality. Thoughts come in and thoughts go out—the breath comes in and the breath goes out. You begin developing a relationship with the awareness that is able to see the flux. You no longer get dragged around by ups and downs of life yet instead see the impermanent nature to all of it.

Pause throughout the day and notice how much your moods, thoughts, and attitude shift. The more often you see this truth the more space you will bring between your awareness and your mental and emotional states. You will cultivate the ability to discern and redirect your attention. Over time the awareness will grow. Now keep in mind this is a life practice —an integral part of being empowered.

Brought to you by Dave

Just the other day I received a phone call from an old college friend. The last time I had spoken to him he had just gotten out of rehab for substance abuse. He experienced a relapse during his rehabilitation and got clean once again. He is doing amazing and this time he sounds much different then the last time he got clean. In college I knew Dave had a problem and the pattern continued until he hit rock bottom. Many of us are not fortunate enough to hit rock bottom. I’ll get to that later.

I asked him why this time was different—why will you stay clean? Dave said the first time he got sober he was so focused on himself and thought someday he would be able to drink and use again in a controlled fashion. He realized by focusing on his desires that he was suffocating within his own ego—it was only a matter of time before he went back using, which is what happened.

Finally, he hit rock bottom (first time didn’t count if it doesn’t stick—that is what I understand they say in AA) and this time he admitted he had no control over substance and surrendered to God—finally he felt the suffocating ego lift. He spoke with conviction when referring to his present commitment to his wife and family. He said that when he focuses on his family he feels invisible, not in an ego sense yet in an empowered sense.

He said he stopped maturing when he started abusing substances in college, so he still has so much to learn. He expressed interest in yoga. He said that he was on my website and referred to me as a scientist. I told Dave you are already doing yoga. The 12 Step Program, the Christian Church you go to on Sundays, the prayer you say throughout the day, the way you said you stop and pay attention to the little things in life developing gratitude. These are all yoga practices. Yoga means balance, union which comes through living the truth which is what you are doing right now. If you want to study Hatha Yoga (physical exercise system of yoga) I could most certainly help you with this form of yoga.

I told him about the Dharma and the path and ensured him that he was already on it. The destination is the process. Being present for the steps and learning to doubt your doubts and have faith in each step is the path. Because you hit rock bottom in this life you have been given a gift. You have turned your life 180 degrees in a different direction and now you are walking the other way. You are clean and present and living your truth. Dave is now walking the truth due to his rock bottom experience. Some people hit rock bottom in other ways like cancer, divorce, and other life changing events. I believe these people are lucky because they have to stop sleep walking like so many of us do. They have to stand up straight and begin paying attention to where they are causing suffering in their lives and the lives of those around them.

When I look back Dave and I always spoke the dharma with each other and this is why 13 years later we are still friends. Dave was always looking to live the truth yet had no direction or path to follow, so he went to the dark side. The Buddha used to say there are many paths that lead to the top of the mountain. Choose one and walk it—they all end up in the same place—the top of the mountain. We live in a world where too many people are on the fence—too much confusion and suffering. Having a path and a practice can bring so much meaning and fulfillment to one’s life. It can take the guess work out and help you develop unwavering presence. This is what sets us free.

Dave has made a choice and made a commitment to the 12 Step Program and his family—a commitment that is making a difference today and in many years from now will have made all the difference in the world. Just look at the analogy of Dave walking one way and then turning 180 degrees and walking the other. Two different directions, different landscapes traveled, different experiences along the way, different people, and ultimately different destinations. Big Bow to you Dave!  
 

Motivation

This exchange is probably the most famous in Zen lore. Bodhidharma met the emperor of the Liang Dynasty, Wu, a devout Buddhist renowned for his piety and charity, who was much given to endowing monasteries and orphanages. Wu said: "I have endowed temples and authorized ordinations--what is my merit?" Bodhidharma's answer was radical: "No merit at all." Wu had been doing good for the sake of accumulating merit. Bodhidharma cut through Wu's ideas about merit in the core of his teaching; that your practice isn't apart from you: when your mind is pure, you live in a pure universe; when you're caught up in ideas of gaining and losing, you live in a world of delusion.

I love this little story. It is a reminder for me to get in touch with my intentions and motivations. I often notice that people tend to do things in the hope of getting something in return. Well if I do this for her then that means she will do this for me. This kind of motivation often leaves us disappointed and judgmental if she does not reciprocate. If we have someone in our lives that constantly reciprocate our good deeds back to us we begin liking the person more and more because they give us our good deeds back. I believe this becomes friendship with a faulty foundation. 

Without getting in touch with our own intentions behind our good deeds, we live in an unauthentic arena of life. When we practice giving freely and doing good without any expectations of anything in return it can be very freeing. I first started applying this concept a few years back. I began realizing I would get upset if I let someone in front of me in traffic and they did not wave as to signal, “thank you”. I began asking myself, “Is the only reason you are letting them in is so they will acknowledge your kindness?” Seems simple yet this helped me in gaining greater awareness behind my intentions in other areas of my life. 

Start recognizing your motivations behind your generous and kind deeds. If you start note that they are not so pure, begin to laugh—yes laugh. You will see the silliness of these intentions. It is silly because you are simply taking yourself too seriously. You will see when you seek praise and recognition, it strengthens your ego. There is nothing wrong for being praised or recognized, but there is something wrong with having the motivation to do it because you want recognition. Beginning to live from this place of awareness is Being Empowered. 

Dharma

After his enlightenment, Siddhartha was uncertain as to whether he should share his experience. He could see how humans were overpowered by hatred, greed, and delusion – blinding them from seeing the true way to happiness. He was not sure if he could make a difference. 

Dharma means “the path to the way”. The word 'dharma' literally translates as 'that which upholds or supports'. Legend says Siddhartha was visited after his awakening by a divine spirit and asked that he teach the dharma to the world. With enormous compassion he accepted his Dharma. 2500 years later, millions of people have been elevated from suffering into happiness because he said “Yes”.

The word Dharma takes on two important meanings. The first meaning is the highest truth or ultimate reality. The second is one’s righteous duty or virtuous path within this life. The dharma is an invitation to be the truth and base your life on living the truth. Notice I did not say seek the truth. The truth is not something outside of you. It is something you will intuitively know by cultivating the ability to pay attention. You will see truth outside of yourself yet it is always within yourself that you are experiencing this ultimate reality. 

For simplistic purposes, the Dharma is your life. How you meet the moments of your life becomes your practice. Meeting these moments day to day is how our lives will unfold. The symbol for Dharma is a wheel. Our actions turn the wheel in certain ways and with repetition, speed occurs. There is an energy that we create from the moment we enter this world and things continue to unfold like a wheel that is turning. This is why it becomes more and more challenging to change as we age. Our wheels are spinning quickly. 

Reminders

Siddhartha taught throughout the countryside of India and surrounding areas for 45 years. He would end all of his talks by telling attendees to go back to your villages and teach these teachings in a language and understanding that is clear to your people. There was no ego or ownership to his teachings. Siddhartha viewed his teachings as something he discovered. They were not unique to him or something he created—he found them. He would tell people that there were Buddhas before me and there will be Buddhas after me and you too have Buddha nature inside of you just as I do.

He never put himself on a pedestal because he knew that this would make people look outside of themselves for enlightenment. Sometimes people will ask me why there are statures, shrines and images of Buddha all over the world? History tells us after Buddha had been dead for sometime, people began forgetting what he looked like so they started to create images to remind themselves of their nature and the origin of the teachings. I have images of the Buddha as well as Jesus in my house. I have them in my car and in my office. They serve as reminders to me to pause—be present and connect to my true nature.

In the Zen tradition they have an expression, “If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha.” This radical teaching is meant to remind people not to be looking outside for enlightenment. For many this can be scary. You mean I have to pull up my boot straps and get to work? You mean no one is going to save me? You mean I have to take responsibility for my own life? This is scary stuff! The God I believe in isn’t short of compassion, yet I believe you better be ready to meet halfway. We as human beings have an incredible ability to control our destiny to some degree. We can keep ourselves stuck or we can elevate ourselves to greatness. The choice is ours.

There are thousands of different interpretations of Siddhartha teachings just like there are thousands of interpretations of Jesus’ teachings. The teachings are the form and God is the formless. Words and images have been used for thousands of years to try to understand the formless—that which is beyond concept and thought. At some point for our world to evolve forward we must let go of the form. This is the only way the egotism that creates all suffering of the world will come to an end. When people ask me if I am a Buddhist or a Christian—I tell them I am a human being. For me, it is the only answer I can give. 

Buddha

Siddhārtha Gautama, often referred to as “the Buddha”, was a prince who lived around 500 BCE in modern-day India. His father, the King, sheltered Siddhartha and kept him largely confined to a royal life of luxury within the palace. At the age of 29 Siddhartha felt that material wealth was not the ultimate goal of life so one night he summoned his charioteer Channa and they snuck out of the palace. This is where his story begins.

The first man they came across was an old man, then a diseased man, and then a dead man. Disturbed by this, Siddhartha now knew that all people would eventually grow old, become diseased and die. The prince continued on his journey until coming upon an ascetic. He asked Channa who this was and he replied “Siddhartha, this is a man who has renounced all worldly possessions in the pursuit of enlightenment”. Siddhartha immediately disrobed from his royal garments and followed the ascetic into the woods in the pursuit of enlightenment. He goes from one polarity to the other extreme, thinking this is the way to create radical change. I find it so interesting to observe this within my own mind. It is the all or none mindset. It rarely works as Siddhartha eventually discovers. 

Over the next six years Siddhartha studied with different yoga masters trying to find enlightenment through near total deprivation of worldly goods (including food) and practicing self-mortification. After nearly starving himself to death by restricting his food, he collapsed in a river while bathing and almost drowned. Siddhartha began to reconsider his path. After asceticism and concentrating on meditation, Siddhartha is said to have discovered what he called the Middle Way—a path of moderation away from the extremes of self-indulgence and self-mortification. He came to this realization while sitting under the Bodhi tree. Bodhi means enlightenment and Buddha means one who has achieved bodhi.

He found complete awakening and insight into the nature and cause of human suffering—ignorance. His awakening was simply categorized into the Four Noble Truths of Life. The four noble truths are: suffering, causes of suffering, happiness and causes of happiness. Many people whom I have come across who have studied and live Buddhist philosophy are very quick to say that this is the only teaching you ever need. They are also very quick to say the Buddha wasn’t a Buddhist. Siddhartha became enlightened. He woke up to the power that each and every one of us possesses. He saw the very nature of reality and the interdependence of the universe. Much of his insights have been proven over the last 50 years through research into quantum physics.

Siddhartha original mindset is a root cause of suffering for many. I see it all the time. I am quitting on Monday. I am going to lose 50 pounds. Someone who goes from sitting on the couch to saying they are going to run a marathon. Our minds think that radically going from one polarity to the other is somehow going to be the answer. What happens is that we fall flat on our face because our ego set the bar too high. When we approach something in a moderate fashion and understand that change and enlightenment is a gradual process which requires a larger mind-set. If you are attempting to make some changes within your life, keep moderation and the middle path within your awareness.